Being over 50 and being single can feel either incredibly liberating, or incredibly lonely depending on how it hits you.
These days with up to 46% of all marriages ending in divorce, being ‘foot loose and fancy free’ in the second half of your life is statically quite high.
If you are someone for whom being alone is a horrific prospect, don’t panic, there are plenty of ways to meet someone new…albeit a tad second hand…..
As well as the usual suspects of joining a hobby or sporting group and discovering new people that way, or having a go at Speed Dating, there is also dating online, which now enjoying a 40% leap in popularity with the Silver Surfer set. That’s you.
Online dating sites like www.50Plusclub.com and datingover50’s will point you in the right direction if you are looking for someone closer in age to you. If, however, you are trying to stay a little open-minded, you might want to try something like Tinder- which has a lot of ‘hook-up’ options ie: there are people on the site looking for a fling. Nothing wrong with that, and besides, many a great friendship has begun with a sloppy snog.
The most tried and trusted way to meet a new partner is through a mutual friend. This is great if you have a vibrant and varied social life, but if work or any other distraction is eating your time, socializing with mates may a tough call, let alone having them sort out your love life.
The whole thing can be rather daunting. The most important thing to remember after you climb back on that horse, as it were, is to give yourself time and credit. You have learned a lot over the years, you deserve someone who understands and appreciates that. You need to appreciate it too. Be patient with yourself.
If you are back in the market because of a failed relationship or the death of a partner, you are probably feeling tender and a bit wobbly. That’s OK, you are not alone. Perhaps you might want to write out a list of things you are keen on having in a new relationship. Maybe at this stage you only know what you DON’T want. That’s OK too. That’s important.
Being single is an excellent time to take stock. Think about what really matters to you, and work outward from there. Also, be real. The things you valued as a 20 year old (rock hard abs, boobs that sat up like headlights) are less likely to be available as middle age comfort takes over. But that’s OK. There are more important things than parading around a partner like a trophy you won at the Fair. How about laughter, and understanding? How about someone who values your quirks as well as your butt?
Also, ladies, don’t be shy about making the first move. These days men are not going to be put out if you initiate contact. In fact men like it. If the situation arises where you see someone you are interested in, let them know. Yes, you run the risk of rejection, but you have lived a bit and you know no one actually dies from being knocked back. Anyway, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Most importantly, be brave, be kind to yourself, be realistic and put yourself out there. It might be scary but you already know that 100% of the chances you don’t take end in a zero result, so go for it.