We use it every day, and yet we only really notice it when something goes wrong.

There is a website called ,www.ratemytoilet.com where you can read reviews about which toilet works best under certain conditions.

At ‘Rate My Toilet’, which is a website coming out from the Sates; they rate the brand TOTO very highly. TOTO is a Japanese company that has been producing loos since 1917. The company is based in Kitakyushu, Japan and is the world’s largest toilet manufacturer. This group are best known for The Washlet , an innovative toilet seat that features an integrated bidet.

The bidet feature activates at the push of a button on the seat or a remote control; a small wand extends from the back of the rim and begins to jet water towards the backside of the user. Different Washlet models have features such as air seat heaters, and dryers.

Everyone knows that the Japanese are fastidious about their toilet habits. It was the Japanese that brought us music playing commodes (to cover the widdling and plopping sounds, plus all the gas noises), and automatic scent dispensers to mask the smells associated with….unsexy bottom things.

But the Japanese weren’t actually the first to come up with the bidet–inside-the-toilet idea. In fact an American named Arnold Cohen patented a pedal-operated seat he’d designed to help his ailing father. He founded the American Bidet Company in 1964, marketing his product as an “American way to bidet” and “the first wash and dry toilet.” However as no one in the media would carry his ads (washing your arse was just not talked about) The American Bidet Company never made the money it should have. Mr Cohen ended up sending most of his product to Japan (To TOTO, his agent there). TOTO rebranded the invention and have been giants in the market ever since.

Talk about swings and round-abouts. An American media outlet now sings the praises of a Japanese product that was invented in the States, but couldn’t find an American market because the local media wouldn’t talk about it.

The French and other European nations used bidets for centuries, but it was always as a separate device.

Using paper to wipe is expected to eventually die out as a form of ‘cleaning oneself.’

The very latest in toilet technology is all about ‘eco’.

Loos using less or little or no water, and reducing or removing the need for paper.

There is also an enormous amount of research being done on using human waste as an energy source or as fertilizer. One ground breaking invention separates urine from faeces, and then the faeces is dried in a solar dryer and burned. The heat from burning the faeces evaporates the urine, which results in three key products: ash, water, and fertilizer, which can be used in agriculture. Another one relies on the viscosity of, well, crap. This machine has a cone which sits inside a shell. The design is akin to two ice cream cones stacked together. You insert the poop in the gap between the outer cone and the inner cone, rotate the cones, and the poop gets surprisingly hot (as high as 200°C just from shear force produced by rotation) as it passes through. This rotation and heat kills a lot of the hazardous stuff living in the poop, thus reducing disease risk from untreated waste. Now the heat treated and spun poo can now be handled safely (grim) and used as fertiliser also.

These heat and treat loos are currently prototypes, but they are being designed to work in poor and developing countries where hygiene and human waste disposal is a very real issue.

Of course if you just want a very fancy dunny (it’s an Australian word, look it up) you could buy a gold toilet. They cost around 5 Million USD. They are very shiny, but remember, gold is soft so don’t sit for too long.

The International Space station toilet cost 19 million USD and features leg braces to help keep astronauts properly positioned.

If you are stuck here on Earth, one of the most expensive and oddly advertised crappers in the business is KOHLER’s ‘Numi Comfort Height’, which is available only in white and retails at 5,978 USD exactly.

This is one of their ads

Note the ‘come hither’ look on the models face. She is bringing sexy back and taking it all the way to the ‘S” bend. No one is judging, and if that is your thing, you go for it. This might be the product for you.

Quite why this couple spend so much time fully dressed next to the toilet remains a bit of a mystery.

Note, here they are still hanging out together next to the toilet, only this time it’s at night. Maybe they don’t own a TV. Or a bed.

Lots of people enjoy the peace and quiet of a moment or two alone on the loo. Catching up on Facebook, reading, even returning calls are these days often done ‘on the throne’.

Maybe one day all toilets will have built in phone chargers, drink holders and a small bar fridge containing snacks and delicious beverages.

You will do your business whilst you do your business, and magical unseen forces will wash, dry, perfume and pamper your nether regions while at the same time saving the planet.

That would be the sh*t.


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