SCREWDRIVERS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

A while back there was a book published called ‘Cucumbers are better than men because….” Inside this book, illustrations showed the way that cucumbers don’t fart in bed, didn’t leave the toilet seat up, didn’t complain about going shoe shopping on a Saturday and were therefore better partners for women.

Then there was a book published called ‘Chocolate is better than men because….” Inside THIS book there were illustrations showing how chocolate didn’t make you sleep on the wet patch, didn’t comment on your grey hairs, didn’t flirt with the waitress and were therefore better partners for… women.

In the spirit of gender equality, and with a nod to a more open and liberated society, here are ten reasons why

‘Screwdrivers are better than women because….’

  1. Screwdrivers are better than women because, you can clean them with an old sock and methylated spirits and they don’t get all ‘thing’ about dry skin and smelling weird.
  2. Screwdrivers are better than women because, they know how to screw things properly.
  3. Screwdrivers are better than women because, they can open things like window sashes that have been painted shut and doors that don’t have keys, and they never break a nail.
  4. Screwdrivers are better than women because, they can fit in your pocket. ​
  5. Screwdrivers are better than women because, you can leave them for weeks in your car and they don’t die or start to rot.
  6. Screwdrivers are better than women because, you can keep thinner or bigger or newer ones, and they don’t get all jealous and bent out of shape about it.
  7. Screwdrivers are better than women because, they have different heads, so you can have a different kind of head anytime you want.
  8. Screwdrivers are better than women because, they understand that size really doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it.
  9. Screwdrivers are better than women because, as long as your grip is good, they don’t mind how you hold them
  10. And finally, screwdrivers are better than women because, unlike chocolate, they stay hard in your hand.

#COMEDY #GENDER #TOOLS

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