We all get to a point in our lives where we like things to be a certain way, to have things a certain way, and to have everything run a certain way.
Alas, if only life would co-operate.
While there is nothing wrong with having expectations, it is how we respond when things tilt sideways that tell us about the angry 3-year-old that dwells within the very best of us.
Here is a tongue-in-cheek way to discover if you are living within the ‘normal’ range of reaction, or if, like many of us, even us here at My Grey Nomads, you are mere seconds away from unleashing that spoilt smaller person whose only recourse to disappointment is a full-on panty tanty on the floor, arms and legs akimbo. Are you spoilt? Is that possible? Read these scenarios and be honest about how many you relate to.
- You have left the house for a busy day ahead when you suddenly realise that you have left a small thing behind inside. It may be a lip balm, or a pair of socks you were going to use at the gym, or a supplement powder, or a snack. Perhaps a coffee you had prepared in a reusable mug. You are literally 25 steps from your house. Or you are 10 steps away, but you are in the car already. The obvious solution? Stuff it, you will buy a new one while you are out. 25 steps seem far, plus you have your seatbelt on. It’s only money and time is money too, plus, it is more effort than it is worth.
- Speaking of coffee. You stop in at your favourite chain, but there is a new girl behind the machine. You order your usual…sigh…the previous barista did not have to be told, and you wait the agonising 3 minutes it takes to get your java. You look at the name written on the side. Your face turns scarlet, you heart starts pounding. You are going to lose your shiz. How hard is it to spell Karren with 2 ‘r’s for F’s sake? Seriously, this coffee shop has become a JOKE. What the hell is wrong with people? Is this even the country you grew up in? You vow to speak to someone, or at least write a SCATHING review on Yelp.
3. You go onto a website to purchase an item. There appears to be something wrong. Either the wrong language pops up, or the page is slow to load. You look at the clock on the screen. So far, you have wasted 80 seconds on this crap service already. Regardless, they have 10 seconds to fix this, or you are going to punch a hole in the computer screen. 9…8…7…6…you refresh the page…5…4…that’s it. They have lost your sale. The internet is crap, life is falling apart.
4. The price of avocados has gone up in the past 3 months. Is life even worth living? You would like to speak to the Earth’s manager please.
5. Twice in the past month, your housecleaner has put the sponges upside down next to the sink. There is clearly an ‘up’ side and a ‘down’ side. How can she not see that? Anyone can see that. She needs to be fired. In fact, she needs to be banned from ever doing her job again. Is there a licencing board? Who can you contact?
6. Your colleagues bought you a birthday cake as a surprise at work. It is a chocolate ganache cake with cherries on top. Is it too hard for anyone to remember that you are keto? Seriously? What are they trying to do? Kill you?
7. A local charity Is raising money -again- for homeless youth by selling homemade cookies. You’ve seen a few of these homeless youth hanging around. They look like they have arms and legs. They should get a job and stop being homeless. Plus, why do you have to keep buying these stupid cookies every year. You bought them last year and it obviously didn’t work. What a waste of time. This year they can eat the cookies themselves. That should shut them up.
8. Your favourite sparkling water company has changed it’s label. Because you hadn’t noticed when you were shopping, you now have 15 bottles of their STILL water range. If you had wanted still water, you would have bought still water. But you wanted SPARKLING water, and this is not it. WTF are you going to do now?! You have 15 bottles of useless still water, and to return it just seems like a HUGE waste of effort. You will just have to throw it out. To be fair, if the local charity for homeless youth wants it, they can come and pick it up. I mean, that’s a bigger donation than buying cookies. If they can’t collect it, it can just go out on rubbish day. The time it would take driving it over to the donation box is much better spent writing a SCATHING letter to the water company asking for an explanation as to why, after 10 years of loyal custom, they decided this year, on top of everything else that is going on, was the year they were going to screw you over by changing labels. Twats.
The 2020’s. What a shiz show.